First Post

Here is an old writing of mine while I wait for new inspiration to strike.

The Saved Seat

One of the great things about my job is that it drives me absolutely mad. Maybe it's the mind numbing solitude of working security for a computer lab, maybe it's the glass walls that separate my station from the rag-tag group of engineers who inhabit the goddamn place day and night. Whatever it is, I end up turning from my normal mild-mannered self into a volatile sociopath over the course of an average shift. My only place of refuge is a little sandwich shop on campus where I often grab a bite to eat on the nights I work. It was on one such night that I found myself looking for a place to sit after purchasing some food. Even though I'm alone I always grab a booth because I like the extra room and I'm a paying customer. It's usually not a problem, but on this night I had taken a few bites of my sandwich when all of a sudden some girl was angrily confronting me about my choice of seats. She said she had saved it for her and her friends. Perplexed, I said "You did? I didn't see anything that said you saved it." It was at this point that she made her fatal mistake, namely being dumb in the presence of someone who had just spent the last 6 hours of his life trapped in a glass prison like Magneto. What did she do? She pointed to a stack of napkins. "I put the napkins there," she said. I was astonished. The overwhelming level of stupidity was making my brain hurt. "You saved your table with a stack of napkins?" I asked with amazement. Not realizing the verbal jiu jitsu that awaited her, she uttered one last sentence: "Yeah, now give us the table." Bad move. "See this salt shaker?" I said. "I saved the table with it... and if you'll look around you'll see that I saved every other table in here." She walked away pissed and 20 minutes later I used her napkins to finally wipe the smile off my face.